The 15 Funniest 'Drake and Josh' Quotes, Ranked By Nick Kids (2024)

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'I Ain't Calling You A Truther!' - Josh

Episode: Season 3, Episode 9, “Foam Finger”

The beauty of Drake & Josh is that it can turn any situation into the premise for an episode. In this one, the titular pair has an argument that stretches back eight years.

Josh claims that Drake unfairly nabbed the last foam finger at a sports game from him; Drake contends that he got it fair and square. After they recount their stories - both having wildly exaggerated their point of view - a resolution still isn't set.

Annoyed, Drake asks Josh if he's insinuating that he's a liar. In response, Josh hits back that Drake definitely isn't a “truther.” To Josh's credit, he found a good way of calling someone a liar without actually calling them a liar.

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'There’s A New Jersey?' - Drake

Episode: Season 4, Episode 2, “Vicious Tiberius”

Drake doesn't exactly catch on to things quickly, including general knowledge. Since they're in California, Drake isn't very aware of the East Coast side of the country, although there's little defending his ignorance here.

While he and Josh are house-sitting for Mrs. Hayfer, Drake spots a picture of her during her youth. Upon noticing she was once a Miss New Jersey, Drake asks Josh when a new version of Jersey even came into existence.

Having become used to Drake over the years, Josh simply replies that it was just opened, hence the name. It's also set up as a joke for the end of the episode.

While back home, Drake suddenly mulls over why it's called New Jersey when there was never a Plain Old Jersey. Despite Josh's exasperated reaction, Drake still doesn't let it go and asks if there is an Old Hampshire since there's a New Hampshire.

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'Don't Tell Me What To Do.' - Mailman

Episode: Season 4, Episode 10, “Tree House”

Drake & Josh tends to have one-off jokes that have no connection to the main plot. The only reason these gags are included is to provide unexpected laughs, which this one certainly qualifies for.

At the beginning of the episode, Josh answers the door and receives a package from the mailman. He thanks him and says, “have a good day.” For some reason, the mailman is in a crabby mood, hitting back that Josh can't tell him what to do. Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

It's a silly gag but one that instantly gets viewers into a humorous mood.

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'Pip Pip Da Doodly Doo!' - Drake

Episode: Season 4, Episode 15, “Megan's First Kiss”

After Megan begins to behave suspiciously, Drake and Josh decide to spy on her. Since she's headed to the Premiere, the two have to put on a disguise.

Unfortunately, the best Josh can do is get himself and Drake disguises as Irish Jews. The Irish part isn't even predecided; it's just the accent that comes out of their mouths when they have to pretend to be someone else.

Drake, hoping Helen won't figure out who they are, ends their conversation as soon as it begins, chiming “Pip Pip Pa Doodly Doo!” before he and Josh bail out of there.

Funnily enough, Helen doesn't catch on to their thinly veiled disguises. Instead, she repeats the phrase and claims she's going to begin using it herself.

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'You Ate My Enchilada!' - Crazy Steve

Episode: Season 4, Episode 17, “Really Big Shrimp”

Getting on Crazy Steve's bad side is, well, a bad idea. But it's inevitable when the guy freaks out about pretty much everything. When he finds enchilada in the Premiere's fridge with no note on it, Josh assumes it's anyone's meal. Too bad for him, this makes him Crazy Steve's next target.

Josh's reckoning doesn't happen instantly, though, as Crazy Steve claims his doctor has told him to rage out only in select moments of the day. Just when Josh thinks he's in the clear, Crazy Steve's watch beeps and he reveals it's time to lose it.

To leave no doubts over his craziness, Crazy Steve snatches an old man's cane and begins chasing after Josh with it. The gag pops up for the rest of the episode, as Steve again chases Josh around whenever his timer beeps.

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'Whoa! Just Take It Easy, Man.' - Drake

Episode: Season 3, Episode 14, “Theater Thug”

Sometimes, life is just too easy. That's certainly the case for Drake when an opportunity lands in his lap with minimal effort. When Josh is cast as the actor playing the Theater Thug in an episode of FBI's Most Wanted, Drake ends up reaping the rewards.

After pointing out a zit on Josh's chin, Drake is taken aback when the former reacts angrily. Asking Josh to take it easy becomes the ticket to Drake's success, as the director loves his delivery so much that he casts Drake to say the same line in the episode.

Even though Drake only has one line - and objectively delivers it very dryly - he becomes the biggest hit from the episode. While Josh suffers from people thinking he's the literal Theater Thug, Drake spends the rest of the episode being fawned over by admirers and enjoying a minor celebrity status.